When I first started writing this blog it was simply to chronicle the story of Katie Grace. It gave me the ability to capture moments in the present; to suspend the emotions, the words, and the actions of us and those around us. It became a diary of sorts for me personally. As days go farther away from the time we held Katie Grace and I re-read my posts, my critical eye reads poor grammar and bad writing, yet I also see this blog was a place where I emotionally unloaded the weight of our journey. Where transparency, honesty, hopefulness, gratitude, and even bitterness all oozed out through me to a space where anybody who wanted to enter could.
Then we moved to Georgia and without realizing it I let this blog die, almost as if Katie Grace’s death was the end. It honestly was an unconscious move. I hadn’t planned it or thought about it. It would be fair to say I simply didn’t have anything to say. Or at least that was my perspective at that time. I think I thought I was done healing after Katie Grace died. I mean not fully but she had taught me so much and her story was so powerful that I was content with it being just that. So when I didn’t have anything to say, or any words to write, or stories to capture, or a weighty journey to unload, I just let it go. I forgot though, Katie Grace didn’t simply come to have her story told, she came to give me breath so that I could tell our story. And our story was beginning again on a whole other level.
You see I needed time that I didn’t know I needed, time that has allowed for deeper understanding, more healing, and less fear. Some of the work that the Lord has done in my heart in this quiet season of what has looked like isolation for me has been the most revolutionary. I have shared a few of the stories along the way yet there is so much more. I have torn down walls of beliefs that have held me back from the tender arms of the Lord. I have walked openly scared and insecure throughout the day because I laid down normal, to find myself. And I know that is not descriptive and this leads me to the rebrand of sorts. I hope now to share with you the details of our journey. To come back to life on here; to invite you into this process, to be transparent about my writing sessions, to bring to you what is brought to me as I travel the rest of this journey. To once again unload the weight of this journey through this space for whoever wants to enter in.
I have found that writing is so much more than words on a page. It isn’t just knowing how to use them or put them together to evoke emotion or thought. It is also about the physical and emotional process of discovering those words. I don’t promise good grammar or even good writing but I promise you the process. I promise vulnerability, honesty, probably some bitterness, and hopefully some good humor along the way.