It’s the best descriptive word I can use to describe what the last 3 months have been like. My mom moved back down to Southern California, Charles and I sold our house, moved our stuff into storage and in with friends who become more like family then ever, and then moved again into the place we have now.
Just writing it out is exhausting.
We are here though. We are slowly settling into our new home. A home I believe God has given us for rest. A place to heal, to recover, and to understand the past 5 years.
In 9 days, it will be 9 months since, we said our goodbye to KG. This time last year, we knew death was upon us and we started to change our mindset. We believed we had a year so we set out to make that time the best it could be. What we didn’t know was that we only had 3 months. We had Thanksgiving, Birthday Party, Christmas, and then Goodbye. I am not sure what the next 3 months are going to hold. I don’t know how hard the 9 month mark is going to hit my heart, or what 1 year will look like.
What I do know, is as life is slowing down and there are more days marked off the calendar then aren’t, my heart misses her more. The tight grip I held onto to keep moving, is slowly loosening, and upon me will be a season of crumbling into this beautiful healthy mess of a soul.
And around me will be the most beautiful Father and the most gracious of community’s to lift me up and hold our family tight in this season.