When we left the hospital on January 15th 2011 a month after Katie Grace was born, the doctor basically said “two day, two weeks, two months or two years…she will show you what this will look like.” As Charles and I process this whole lung business…I find the thing that we are saying most to each other is:
“One month, two months, six months, or a year….she will show us what the rest of this journey will look like.”
Her life is like the most beautifully written book. Her beginning was traumatic and dramatic, there has been character development, a story build up, and as we come into this next season a conclusion.
You wouldn’t know by looking at Katie Grace how bad her lung is. She is so present in this life. Her eyes are wide open, she is alert to everything around her, and she still flashes us those smiles now and then. Its hard to imagine that in a flash that lung could grab an infection or it could collapse altogether spiking her CO2s. And it is hard to guess any kind of a time frame. She has lived with and managed this lung for 5 months pretty impressively. We have the possibility of getting home with a by-pap machine and it could help her, it could possibly even clear some stuff slowly over time. We simply have no way of knowing.
All we really know, is that we are going to keep living. We are going to keep kissing her face, asking her to do trips with us, snuggling her, and enjoying her. We are going to continue to wade through the grief….every time it starts to creep up on us. We are not going to stop loving or living….whether it be one month, two months, six months, or year.