In the past I haven’t been a huge birthday person. Don’t get me wrong…I LOVE other people’s birthday’s and if I had a money tree in my backyard I would probably buy them the biggest present possible. It’s just my birthday I have had a hard time with. It’s not the getting older part that is hard for me, I think getting old can be fun.
It’s the being celebrated part that always seems to get to me. I get all awkward on the inside and don’t know what to do. Which is super weird cause if you know me, I basically love to be the center of attention. I think being celebrated is different for me. I don’t know how to handle it. I almost feel embarrassed and insecure. Of course as I write this, I think well “no duh you spent three years of your life in a place that did not celebrate woman in anyway…that felt safe to you”. I never had to worry about being the center of attention or adored in anyway. I was just a workerbee doing a job and earning my worth.
I feel different this year. For the first time in a long time, I feel excited about my birthday. I feel excited about being celebrated. I can finally emotionally understand that who I am and what I bring into this world, should be celebrated. I think we should all feel this way. Not necessarily life of the party celebration but who we are as people bring things to the table. We change the way people see themselves and others. We bring life and love. We bring joy, happiness, laughter, depth, safety, etc. And on the day we are born…we should be celebrated and we should embrace that and say yes!
This year, I am still not doing anything big. Not throwing a party, not doing a get together, this year I am sneaking away with my husband for a quiet grown up dinner. I am rejoicing though, that I am ready to be celebrated. I love believing that I am worth a celebration!
Get ready for NEXT year! It will be my 35th and I will be ready for the part of the year!