With the slew of shows the fill our t.v screens on any given year, there is no way to narrow down my favorite show. There are so many genres even…dramas, reality, funny..etc. To be honest like music and movies, on some level t.v shows (programs) have been a way for me to process pieces of life.
I remember when we first came home for the hospital with Katie Grace. Not only were we recovering from being away from our home and life for the past month, but Katie Grace was on constant monitoring and we still weren’t sure if she was going to live. We kind of went on just day by day mode. She had us up all night almost every night…blowing snot…elveated heart rate…low oxygen numbers. Charles and I were exhausted and emotionally drained practically all the time. However we had a three-year old at the time….we had to keep living. Admist all of that, Katie Grace had doctors appointments and physical therapy and I had SSI paperwork and appointments. We were still managing the apartment complex we lived. Every once in a while we wanted to see our friends and breathe a breath of fresh of air. That first 4 months to a year was the hardest in my opinion. During that time, I found myself watching a lot of Grey’s Anatomy….ALOT of Grey’s Anatomy. Which I had liked before when it first came out but hadn’t really watched it in years. I didn’t really prefer the morals of the characters…I am just not sure that everybody had to sleep with everybody. Like basically Meredith and Alex might have been the only two people who haven’t slept together! (for those who watch the show). I found myself drawn to it though, I would sit and hold my baby girl and watch sometimes two hours worth of Grey’s on a not so busy day.
And I would cry.
Almost every time I found myself with tears streaming down my face. Then the weirdest thing..I seemed as if a weight was lifted off of me when the tears ended. It took me about a month of figure out why, it was during an episode really. Meredith was talking to her friends and she said “Why do I have to talk to her, I am not the only dark and twisty person.” Or something close to that, that is not a perfect quote. Then a lightbulb went off as to why the show was almost therapy. There is a darkness, a sadness about the show. If you watch it really really bad traumatic things happen to these people, like more than should ever happen to somebody, yet when the episodes end…there is always hope. There is always a story of hope or love at the end. I was processing my dark traumatic time through Grey’s Anatomy. Unable through exhaustion and responsiblity I found an outlet through Grey’s and after a while I found I didn’t want to watch the show anymore. It didn’t have the same pull and I realized I could process the weight of what I had been through on my own. I didn’t need a third-party. I didn’t need another outlet…I didn’t need Meredith, Alex, Lizzy, McSteamy, or Christina. I was strong enough on my own.
So I guess I have favorite shows at different times in my life. When I was a teenager it was my So-Called Life….I totally identified with awkward teenager. Today, I have the slightest obsession with Law & Order. Just a little one though…like techinically I might have watched all the episodes but still I life to watch one episode a day. If I take a breath and look inside I can see that emotionally I am working through a justice thing in my own heart. There are times that I think that there is not enough justice in this world….that too many wrongs go by without light being brought to them. And I can’t control that. I can’t make justice happen. So I watch Liv and Elliot make it happen. Then I continue to fight the fight in my own heart to find justice in this world.
There are shows I like just for entertainment purposes .Example Downton Abbey I adore that show! I guess if I had to put in a season, those would be shows I watch in my seasons of ease, when life seems easy. Not necessarily processing anything just enjoying life. Downton Abbey is addicting entertainment. The characters, the story line, it just sucks you in and for the next hour you are lost in these people’s lives and the story that is unfolding before you. Although you know the stories are made up and not much is true…it doens’t stop you from becoming emotionally involved and rooting for some characters and hating others. It is a GREAT show!
I guess I would say…no favorites of all time for this girl….just different seasons. Different times of processing life. Some of them sad, some of them justice, some of then just entertainment.